Why Do We Keep Ending Up in the Same Emotional Place?
Have you ever noticed how every time you try to ‘start over,’ you end up in the same place emotionally? The same feeling of being unseen. Same frustration. And the same type of people. That’s not a coincidence. That’s a pattern.
What are Emotional Patterns?
A pattern is a deep mental habit we follow without realizing it. The emotional habits we don’t even know we’ve learned. These patterns are usually planted in our subconscious during our childhood when we are learning about new emotions and new situations. However, we perceive them at first, turn out to be the pattern that we follow for life. Everyone goes through this and ends up with patterns that are not very good for us.
It’s Okay to Have Toxic Patterns — But Not Okay to Stay Stuck
It is totally fine to have toxic or negative patterns because we are only learning and it’s not like these patterns cannot be changed. What’s not okay is to not try to get aware and change these patterns as soon as you realize there is a repetition of similar situations that keeps coming back to you. We attract similar situations repeatedly because we never question why we’re drawn to them and instead call it bad luck, whereas it’s just an emotional loop that we’re stuck in.
The Universe Repeats Lessons Until You Learn Them
The universe just like any game, will make you repeat levels until you clear it with enough eligibility points required for the next level. Or just like any teacher, it will make you solve the same question again and again until you learn the lesson you are supposed to.
Self-Discovery Questions That Help Break the Loop
These are some questions that can help you identify and break harmful emotional patterns: “What do I always complain about?” (That’s your loop.) “Who do I keep attracting — and why?” “What emotions do I run from, and what distractions do I use?” “What did I need in childhood that I still chase in my adult life?” “Where do I mess things up for myself when things get good?” and so on.
My People-Pleasing Pattern: A Personal Story
Since as early as kindergarten, I found myself trying hard to fit in with friends who didn’t want me around. I’d bring them candy just to be liked. By middle school, I’d lie about having a crush on someone just to seem cool — even when I didn’t. I became a full-on people pleaser because I always saw myself as “less than.” I felt like the ugliest in the group — I was overweight, had a persistent skin allergy no doctor could treat, and struggled with dark patches on my skin.
In late high school, I switched schools and saw it as a fresh start. I began exercising, lost weight, and got into skincare. As my appearance improved, so did my confidence. I naturally stopped people-pleasing and began attracting real friendships. Today, I can proudly say I have amazing friends I deeply trust — and since I started noticing and fixing my old pattern, my relationships have completely transformed.
You’re Not Broken — You Were Just Surviving
Don’t ever think of yourself as weak or broken or even as a victim because you were just learning, you just inherited these patterns because when you were first in these situations you had no idea about it, your body went just trying to cope. But now that you see it, you can change it for the better.
The Moon Doesn’t Speak, But It Reflects — So Do Your Patterns
The moon does not answer, but it reflects light. Just like your patterns show what’s going on. And now that you see it healing begins.
